The Marriage Conundrum

Why do people get married? 

The answer to this question is a difficult one due to the different variables that help shape personal opinions.  For example, some people may marry for financial security, acceptance, loneliness, child rearing, or something simple as sex.  Their intentions may be good but to death do us part is a very long time—long enough to reveal the imperfections that hide beneath the surface infatuation. 

After the matrimonial newness wears off, the truth exposes an emotional struggle that challenges a once tight bond.  At this point conversations turn into arguments and hugs turn into shrugs once the happy moments unravel.  The chemistry that once existed no longer meshes although the same bed is still being occupied.  Now a set of four eyes stare at the ceiling trying to figure out where the fork in the road occurred.  The timelines are identical but the visuals are unrelated.  One moment in time is tied together by a vow that has loss its value.  For better or for worse is an afterthought. 

Sometimes this world can be cold.  It can turn presumed love birds into charging rams.  The head butting is the result of money challenges, extra marital affairs, and bodily changes.  The complaints are legitimate but the resolutions seem far fetched.  The stand off is heartache related.  Only time will tell if things will be resolved.

There are two things that history has taught us. 

1) If a person uses a marriage as a refuge to camouflage their emotional insecurities then their lives will remain empty despite having a counterpart.  True love should be the only reason to get married.   It brings clarity when situations become hazy.  Having a history with a person only gives a glimpse into what the future may hold.  The only thing that counterbalances that lack of foresight is the heart’s clear desire to defeat any odds that will be placed in front of it.     

2) If a person uses this union as a way to check and balance their finances then their lives will be shaped by convenience.  Material gain and financial security is well within the scope of reasonable desires but if solely based on its merit alone then it underscores the essence of genuine camaraderie.  If by any means there is a reversal of fortune then the bond of convenience will crumble leaving two lost individuals searching for a way out of marital bondage. 

Society is changing and the way it views marriage is following suit.  Gone are the days when wedding vows joined two individuals based on the premise of love.  Unconditional love has become conditioned and compatibility is judged by factors that outweigh emotional ties.   In other words, everything is not what it seems.